Story of Bras and Hairy Baboons
by insaneAi
Summary: Gintoki can't refuse when blushing and embarrassed Kagura asks him to teach her how to wear a bra. We all know that with this duo, nothing goes smoothly.


**The idea for this fanfic came from a doodle of this wonderful person, I've linked the specific doodle but by all means check out her awesome blog: User: _kaguraw_ on Tumblr. post/86475760767/gin-chan-can-explain-sighlighting**

**A/N: "Anego" - refers to Otae Shimura. And I apologise for using a word inappropriate for LGBT people, but it was used many times in the series itself so I didn't intend any harm. Also beware of some foul language.**

* * *

It was a bright sunny day in Edo with people out of their houses going to markets and shops and just having a relaxing day. Among these cheerful pedestrians walked a certain individual of a short height and in a bright red outfit, with her red bangs softly swaying in the wind. Even though she seemed to be calm just like everybody else around her, the tiny sweat drops on her face and the frantic way in which she was eyeing the public suggested that she wasn't all that calm after all. Her steps hastened as she approached the familiar snack house and threw a quick hi to Tama who was working outside.

The girl quickly ran up the stairs and stopped promptly in front of the doors of "Yorozuya Gin-chan". She listened into the building and heard the sounds of the TV. _Gin-chan's in the living room, _she thought to herself. Kagura secured her shirt and slid the door open as quietly as she could and sneaked inside. As she was sliding the door closed, a familiar voice coming from the living room startled her.

"Kagura, is that you?" asked Gintoki in a loud voice still not taking his bored eyes off the screen.

"Yes Gin-chan!" shouted the girl trying to keep her usual voice.

As she started taking quiet steps towards the room to the left of the corridor, he called out to her again.

"Just look at what's happening in Kabukicho, we're on the news again! As if the panty thief wasn't enough, now there's a bra thief. That's what happens when the local police are useless morons like that demon vice-chief!" he said in his same bored tone as he dug into his nose again.

"Uh is that so Gin-chan?" responded Kagura again, not paying any attention to what her boss was saying. She had almost reached the door of the room and had started sliding the door open when she heard his voice again and froze.

"Ah-ah, I don't wanna get a bra from that self-declared Robin Hood. Gin-san's popular among the ladies, you know?" this time Gintoki was speaking to himself as he was walking towards the corridor.

"Hey Kagura, where's my strawberry milk?" sounded his voice now from the end of the corridor as he stood there eyeing the girl.

While she was frozen still holding on to the door, Gintoki noticed something protruding out of the back of her shirt and he realised that the object hidden there was a women's bra.

"Kagura," he gave a long pause before continuing, sending nervous shivers down the girl's spine as she feared the inevitable result of Gin-chan embarrassing and humiliating her for trying to be a girl. She could hardly forget the times he mocked her for having a small bust for a main female heroine and this was another brilliant opportunity for him to do it again.

"I can't believe it," said Gintoki in disbelief and Kagura gulped and slowly turned to face her boss, "You…are the bra thief?!"

Kagura's eyes widened as she registered what Gintoki said and soon enough she was immensely irritated and wanted to beat the man to a pulp but this time she would have to hold back. At least he didn't discover her secret.

"Are you a moron? Of course I'm not!" she shouted and quickly entered the room and shut the sliding doors behind her as Gintoki was left to wonder what was up with her. He shrugged it off for now and went back to the sofa.

_**Some time later…**_

"Dammit, why is it not working?" resounded Kagura's angry tone inside the room. She was struggling trying to hook the bra on her back with the bra straps already sliding down her delicate shoulders. Her red shirt was lying messily on the floor while she was twisting and turning in her task. While she was so occupied with the hook her foot caught on the carpet and suddenly the girl went flying down to the floor with a shriek and a thud. She got up on her knees and hands at the same time cursing at the pain of falling on her chin.

Her biggest mishap was however not the fall, but the fact that she did not hear Gintoki call out to her from behind the door and who had already entered the room. As soon as she realised there was someone else in the room beside her, she slowly turned her head to the tall male form. She was only wearing her pants while her torso and chest were fully exposed aside from the not-so-helpful lace bra loosely hanging on her upper arms.

The girl froze at the realisation of being half-naked in front of Gin-chan and in horror sought the man's expression. His face was a bit different – he had already inadvertently scanned the pose and the state the girl was in and had seen more than enough. His stood there surprised until he finally came to his senses and immediately turned around, exited the room and slid the door closed.

Few more minutes passed before Kagura made a movement and she sat on her knees and stared into space in shock. _Did Gin-chan just see me naked?_ was the only sentence resounding in her mind as sweat droplets formed on her forehead.

"Uh Kagura-chan," suddenly came Gintoki's voice behind the door in a careful tone, "do you need help with that?"

_Dammit, what the hell am I saying? Since when did I become her mom? _were the man's thoughts as soon as he proposed to help. He waited for a few moments. _Nah nah nah, that was stupid of me, Kagura won't agree anyway! _As he didn't get a response he started walking away from the room back into the living room. _Dammit, I need to erase that image of my head as well…_

"I'd appreciate that," came a quiet voice from the corridor as Kagura stood there now with her shirt on and the bra in her hand. She didn't dare look Gintoki in the eyes and her cheeks were laced with a warm blush.

Gintoki was terrified that she accepted his help – _what have I gotten myself into? _But the image of Kagura's pink cheeks and clearly embarrassed expression left him helpless and he felt the determination to help. _And under no circumstances would he make fun of her on this subject again, _he decided.

_**Later…**_

The bathroom in the Yorozuya residence was behind the office. And currently its door was closed shut but if you would listen closely you'd be able to hear some audible muttering sounds from inside.

"So you see, Kagura-chan, first you need to slide your arms through the bra straps and hang them on your shoulders…"

The girl he addressed was sitting on top of a small table in the bathroom staring at the wall with a bored expression. _I know at least that much, _resounded her irritated voice in her mind.

"Oi brat, are you paying attention? I'm doing this for your stupid ass!" snapped Gintoki as he glared at her through the large mirror in front of him, more irritated so for having to stand there wearing a female lace bra on his broad male chest.

"Of course I'm listening, you dense butthanger! You don't have to explain such basic parts!" this time snapped Kagura shouting at him at full force.

"How would I know which parts are basic and which are not?" was the silver-haired man's response. However as soon as he realised that a Yato hand was on its way to smack him, he backed away.

"Wait, wait, fine, I'll try again. This time I'll leave out the unnecessary parts!"

The girl calmed down too and sat at the table again, her feet dangling in the air.

"Okay, after that you carefully cup each of your breasts and settle them in the bra cups as you hold it to your chest". Gintoki tried his hardest to not give up and leave the girl to solve her own problem as he disgustedly watched his own reflection cup his own ripped chest muscles and place them in the garment. His dread did not last too long.

"Hey, you're doing it wrong!" exclaimed Kagura, "You're not supposed to cup your boobs and put them in the bra. Anego doesn't do that!"

"Have you seen "Anego" put on a bra?" was Gintoki's immediate response in an uncomfortable tone.

"Of course, she was dressing up once when I visited!" proudly replied the red-haired girl.

Gintoki thought about it for a moment.

"Well aren't you an idiot? That's because there's nothing to cup on "Anego's" chest," he said, now in a disinterested tone as he returned to his own business. However as soon as he realised what he had said, he unintentionally held his breath for a second, expecting "the Mountain Gorilla" to break down his door and beat the hell out of him.

It didn't happen.

"So now, brat, you need to clasp the bra on your back," he said as he proceeded to stretch his arms out to his back, tightly holding the two sides of the bands in his fingers. He tried once, twice, and now thrice…

Kagura's annoyed and impatient glare was spreading inside the room. Gintoki couldn't help but notice her digging a hole in the back of his head.

"Well you know Gin-san, don't you? He's a lot more used to unhooking the bras than hooking them on," started explaining the man as he started sweating from the continuous struggle of dealing with the garment.

"Don't lie, Gin-chan! No woman looking better than a hairy baboon would let you anywhere near her bra!" the girl started mocking him.

"Shut up, dumbass! I don't wanna hear that from an actual hairy baboon!" yelled Gintoki as he was still clenching the bra clasps in his fingers.

"You're not the one to talk with the amount of hair in your nose!" shouted Kagura even louder and the upcoming fight and quarrel could be felt in the air, which was also now cramped and humid.

"How would you know how much hair I have in my nose?!"

"It's not hard to imagine, probably the same amount of hair as on your ass! Plus you're doing it wrong, I'm telling you, I can totally clasp this easily!" was Kagura's final yell as she jumped at Gintoki and locked her legs around his torso as she tried to get the clasps out of his fingers.

"Damn you! Get off me!" Gintoki grabbed at the girl's foot trying to unlock her legs from around him. He couldn't do that, as the Yato girl was very strong and he didn't want to hurt her. So he started rotating but the girl was on his back so he could hardly reach her.

"Just wait Gin-chan, I can do this!" assured Kagura as she proceeded to try to bring the two bands of the bra together all the while sticking her tongue out to the side in concentration.

"You should have done it back then if you're so good at it!" roared the man.

"Just leave it to me!" snapped back Kagura as she finally managed to clasp it. She let go of the bands immediately which slapped Gintoki's back hard. He flinched at the pain but remained silent waiting for the girl's confirmation that she did it right, refusing to look at himself in the mirror.

"Hmm," Kagura observed her work as she still straddled his body, "I think I clasped the hook into the wrong loop," she said thoughtfully.

Gintoki saw red.

"Get off me, brat!" he yelled as he started spinning and trying to reach for her all the while.

"I told you I'll do it, calm down tranny," now Kagura was using her authoritative tone and her face looking none other than threatening as she grabbed the man's neck.

"The fuck did you s….ah…*cough*" he couldn't finish as he was losing air from Kagura's grip.

He stumbled out of the bathroom with the raging girl on top of him. He tripped in the office and fell down to the floor and Kagura crashed on top of him. Their struggle continued as soon as they recovered – Gintoki now more focused on getting away from the monster girl than fighting her.

_**Elsewhere…**_

"Ah, what a wonderful weather! I wonder if Gin-san and Kagura-chan are enjoying it too… Nope, can't be, those two must be moping around on the sofa. I'll lighten them up!" thought to himself Shinpachi as he cheerfully walked towards "Yorozuya Gin-chan".

"Good afternoon, Tama!" he called out as he saw the robot girl still working outside.

"Good afternoon, Shinpachi-sama!" Tama replied in a respectful manner.

Without a care the young man climbed up the stairs and slid the doors open.

"Gin-san, thank you for allowing me to come in late today! The weather is sure-"

"NO, DON'T TAKE IT OFF!" someone screamed in a male high falsetto.

As Shinpachi eyed the office he pushed his glasses up trying hard to comprehend the situation. Both Kagura-chan and Gin-san were lying on the ground sideways facing the same side. Gin-san was only wearing his pants and…a bra? Kagura behind him was grabbing at the bands of the said bra, her face none other than an evil grin. If he were to try and describe Gin-san's expression – the man's cheeks were flushed like that of a high-school girl who was being undressed and he was desperately trying to keep his bra on his chest with his eyes shut tight.

Several minutes passed in silence.

No, no explanation was needed; or rather Shinpachi didn't want to even hear a reason for their increasing idiocy. As the two of them lied on the ground frozen in their respective positions, Shinpachi turned around and silently exited the room.


End file.
